Career day at the IRS

The IRS recently announced they will use an expedited hiring process to add around 10,000 employees to their workforce to help out with processing returns and accounts management functions. In order to further expedite this process, we have taken the liberty of creating some job descriptions for the open positions.

Join our team

The IRS is hiring 10,000 customer service staff. Are you qualified for one of our outstanding positions?

Telephone representative

Low pay and great benefits are where this wonderful job opportunity begins. Finger dexterity not required because we don’t actually transfer taxpayers anywhere, we just hang up! Do you:

  • Love hanging up on people who have waited two hours on hold?
  • Better yet, do you love telling them your systems are down and they should try back another day?
  • Enjoy repeating the line: “We are still working on guidance on this issue.”?

This job is for you!

Written correspondence department

If your people skills are so bad that not even the IRS can put you on the front lines, don't worry, there’s still a job for you! Do you:

  • Love sending large balance due notices with inadequate explanations to taxpayers?
  • Enjoy mile-high stacks of paper in your office with zero urgency to respond?

This job is for you!

Special backlog coordinator

Can you operate a shredder?

They tax that?

No tax season would be complete without a list of weird taxes assessed by various states and countries.1

  • Sliced bagels: New York charges a bagel-cutting tax at 8 cents per sliced or ready-to-eat bagel.
  • Decorative pumpkins: In New Jersey, a painted, varnished, or cut pumpkin sold as a decoration is subject to sales tax. Pumpkins used as food are not.
  • Tattoos: Arkansas charges sales tax on tattoos, piercings, and electrolysis.
  • Everything delicious: Illinois not only applies a candy tax to confections made without flour, but also in Chicago, soda in a can is taxed at a 3% rate but the syrup for fountain soda is taxed at 9%.
  • Breakfast cereal: In Canada, breakfast cereal makers are exempt from tax if the cereal contains a free children’s toy … but only if the toy is not “beer, liquor, or wine.” Seems pretty easy to meet that requirement.
  • Robots: South Korea has reduced a tax break for companies that have invested in automation that replaces human jobs with machines.
  • Unhealthy food: Mexico, Hungary, and India all have junk food taxes that are in place to try to curb unhealthy eating habits.
  • Cow flatulence: Ireland, Denmark, and other EU nations tax cattle owners on cow flatulence, due to it being one of the leading contributors to greenhouse gases.

Outdoorswoman’s vanity plate is a gas

Karly Sindy in North Carolina is fighting the DMV to keep her vanity plate, which the DMV says it has received complaints about. The offensive plate reads: FART.1

Karly applied for the plate last fall and was surprised when the DMV approved her request, sending her the “Friends of the Smokies” specialty plate, which supports programs and projects in the North Carolina portion of the Great Smoky Mountains National Park.

But by February, Karly got wind that people were complaining about the plate. The DMV contacted her, saying she was required to send a letter with an explanation of what the plate meant to her and why she should be allowed to keep it.

Likely because there had been no special, close-to-the heart meaning for this plate to begin with, Karly consulted with friends and formed the Friends of Asheville Recreational Trails group, complete with a mailing list, Twitter account, website, and merchandise. The movement has given new meaning to the Smokey Mountains, and support has wafted in for this fledgling group. There are now FART meetups being held for Ashville locals to hike, hang out, and enjoy the nature surrounding their community.

Karly wrote an impassioned response to the DMV, ripping their stance and arguing that the plate was a way to advocate for her grassroots organization. (You can view Karly’s full response to the DMV on the group's website.)

The DMV decision on the plate is still up in the air.

Check out some tax-related vanity plates from around the country at:

A few fun facts about this week’s writers:

Kathryn Zdan, EAKathryn Zdan, EA, spends her non-Spidell hours on photography and watching horror films (and then sleeping with the light on). She also enjoys hiking, biking, and watching foreign films.

Mike Giangrande, J.D., LL.M.Mike Giangrande, J.D., LL.M., is an Orange County native, and you can find him around his backyard smoker, working in his garage, or sipping lemonade at either a baseball or soccer game for this three children.

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