Do you speak “client”?
Mike Giangrande, J.D., LL.M.
Federal Tax Editor
Client-speak is a language unto itself, which means that no matter how long you’ve been in practice, you may not yet have achieved full fluency. Here’s a handy guide of common phrases clients use, and what they really mean:
- I don’t have crypto currency = I do have cryptocurrency
- I am very organized = I have a shoebox full of crap for you
- I didn’t receive a 1099 = I received the income, but don’t want to tell you about it
- What do I need here? = How many fake expenses do I need to come up with?
- I want to refinance my home, but I’m not showing enough income = I have been lying to you about my level of income for years, and it only now benefits me to start reporting all of it
- I paid all my estimates = I probably paid them all, but I’m too lazy to review my bank statements to be sure
- I do my own bookkeeping, I have QuickBooks = I leave QuickBooks to do my thinking for me and none of it can be trusted