Tribune: Tax tweets and more tweets

Twitter debuted to the public in July 2006. Jack Dorsey sent the first tweet – “just setting up my twttr” in March 2006 and envisioned Twitter as “a short message service (SMS) on which one could send share small bloglike updates with friends.”1

In just 15 years, we have witnessed Twitter’s transformation into an up-to-the-second news source with social, political, and cultural clout. And even if you’re sick of social media and its overall tendency to confirm the existing biases of its users, it can still be a source of a good laugh now and then.

In 280 characters or less, people are inspired to create and share the ridiculous, whether about taxes, their cat, or Yankee Doodle. Here are some examples:2

  • Just did my own taxes. I should be in jail by the morning
  • This year when I have to file taxes, I’m just sending the IRS $750 and tell ‘em “make it enough.”
  • Turbo Tax is the worst computer game ever.
  • Doing my taxes: “Is at least two-thirds of your income from farming or fishing?” *gazes wistfully out the window for 40 minutes*
  • There’s just something about filing taxes that makes me want to throw a load of tea into a harbor
  • Yankee Doodle: *sticks a feather in his cap* This is called macaroni
    Yankee Doodle’s friend: OK, cool. Listen man, everybody’s worried about u
  • Sick of having to go to 2 different huts to buy pizza and sunglasses.
  • Our scariest president was probably Rushmore because he had four heads.
  • How dare you call me mentally unstable, on this, the day of my cat’s quinceañera.
  • Leaving my browser history open in case anyone in this coffee shop tries to steal my laptop when I’m in the bathroom. (History: WHY CAN NO ONE EVER HIDE FROM ME; WHY AM I NOT AFRAID OF DEATH; WHY CAN I SMELL FEAR; BOBCATS WORLD’S MOST EFFICIENT KILLERS; IS MY CAT A BOBCAT YES IT IS)
  • Fifth Third Bank? I don’t think you understand how to number things, which is something I generally look for in a bank.